The True Life of the Female Killjoy
by BreeBree12345
Summary: Bitterly Ironic is one of the few remaining Killjoys around. She is known for her crazy ways of self preservation and sense of humor. What will she do when she meets the Fabulous Killjoys? Romance, maybe even love? But with who? On Hiatus
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: I've been meaning to wrote one of these for a while now, but I've been having trouble coming up with an OC. Also, It wasn't until recently that I've found the inspiration and motivation. This may sound weird, but five minutes ago I read one called "_Danger Days, an account of events_" which is been written by **AkrasiaMuffin**! I suggest you read it! It is a really good read! It has motivated me to write one of my own; It could have also been the fact that there are not many out there. But whatever, let's get this over with, no?

_Zone 6; Summer, 2019_

Waking up to the bright rays of the sun trying to blind you is never a good way to start a Thursday morning. Or was it Tuesday? …Sunday? No, no it's Friday. I think. Stretching my arms, I stood from behind the small boulder I had taken shelter behind the night before. Looking around to make sure no one was around, I started to head for the road.

As always, it was unbearably hot in Zone 6. Though, the same could be said about zones 1-5. Everywhere but Battery City was constantly above a hundred degrees, with zones 4-6 getting a large amount of acid rain every year. Pushing my blue hair out of my face, I continued my trek down the long road, staying alert so no SCARECROW soldiers, or Dracs, could sneak up on me.

Catching my reflection in an abandoned car's window, I scowled deeply. I was a mess. My black skinny jeans have seen better days, along with everything else I had on my person at the moment. My banana colored hoodie was littered with holes, that even I had to admit looked slightly cool. I had long since ripped the sleeves off, leaving more of a vest than a hoodie. My bright blue skin-tight shirt that had once matched my hair, was so saturated with dried blood, it looked more of a reddish-purple. Even my once bright yellow converse looked brown from all the walking I've been doing lately.

I sighed lightly, running a hand through my long hair. Ever since the apocalypse in 2012, the world has been a mess. A company named BL/ind, which is short for Better Living Industries, has basically taken over the world. The Dracs that I mentioned earlier are robots created by them. The main purpose for this is to exterminate all of the Killjoys.

Killjoys are people like me. Terrorists to the BL/ind corporation. Basically, we are trying to save the world from their evil hold on human-kind by killing every Drac that crosses our paths and raiding different places for food or weapons. The good life. They give out pills that make people "normal". More like non-human if you know what I mean. Emotionless, uncreative, boring people. What a wonderful society that would be, right? NOT.

From what I remember before all of the blood shed, I could almost assure you that if you looked for the definition of an art-enthusiast, you'd see my picture right next to it, smiling brightly. I used to eat, breathe, and shit the stuff. I would never leave my drum set or sketch pad, just waiting for a breath of inspiration.

Unfortunately, that is not the case anymore. I was a loner, walking around zone 6 for hours on end, making sure it was safe and no Dracs had set foot here.

With my trusty black and white striped ray gun at my side, I felt almost invincible. I've luckily never been shot, which is surprising in itself. Even when a few years back I had been cornered by five Dracs, I had managed to make it without many wounds. I have no idea how, but that's my life for you.

I reached into my hoodie pocket for my portable radio, searching for Dr. Death Defying's radio station.

Hearing only white noise is never a good sign. I frowned, twisting the knobs a bit more. "Come on, baby. You can do it, just one little frequency. Think you can do that for me?" I muttered, not caring that talking to oneself is the first sign of insanity.

"_Look alive, sunshine-" _crackled from the small dusty device.

I grinned. "Fuck yeah!"

I pressed a button on the back, trying to connect the sound waves. "Yo! Dr. D! Can yah hear me, old man?" I yelled into the speaker.

After a few sounds of static, a sound I've been dying to hear for the past year made its way from the speakers.

"Riley? That you?"

My smile immediately left my face, agitation taking its place. "It's Bitterly Ironic, old man! Get it right!" I shouted, trying to mentally strangle the man for using my real name.

Laughter filled my ears, "Good to hear from yah! Somethin' you need, _Irony_?" he asked, laughter in his rough voice.

I sighed. "Nah, actually I was gonna head over to the diner. Yah know, see how you and Show Pony are doing. That alright with you?" I heard whispering on the other side before he spoke.

"Of course! I've been meaning to get a hold of yah anyways! You have a ride?"

I blinked before looking around before seeing the abandoned car again. "Yeah, man. I got one. I'll be there in ten." I replied, turning off the radio before he could answer. I made my way over to the car, which was in surprising good condition. Opening the driver's side door, I managed to break into the material under the steering wheel. I fiddled with each of the wires.

"What was it? Red and green? Ow, fuck! Definitely not. Um, Red and yellow? No, no… aha! Red and blue!" I stood to my full height as the car started. Pulling the door closed, I revved the engine a bit and smiled mischievously.

"I've always wanted to do this." And with that, I was full speed ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

Last time:

_I stood to my full height as the car started. Pulling the door closed, I revved the engine a bit and smiled mischievously._

"_I've always wanted to do this." And with that, I was full speed ahead._

Present:

_Zone 6- 116__ Fahrenheit; 80% chance of acid rain_

I fiddled with the car's radio as I sped down the dirt roads of Zone 6. I switched quickly to Dr. D's station, hoping to kill the silence.

"Bad news from the zones, tumbleweeds. Exterminators are roaming zones two and three, so be on the lookout for your lives and don't get ghosted. As for zones one and six, there is a high chance of acid rain that will continue throughout the week. As for zone five, the killjoy Dust Bunny has been found dusted out on route Guano. Let's all have a moment of silence for this brave rebel."

I closed my eyes for a moment, making sure to keep my hands steady on the wheel so as not to drive off the road.

"This next song is from an old band who happens to be my personal favorite. They started back when this BL/ind epidemic had first started, and I am sad to say that all members excluding the drummer have been ghosted. This is for you Bitterly Ironic."

My eyes widened as I stared at the open road ahead of me. How could he have known about the band? It wasn't like we were famous or anything, we were just a group of Rock n' Rollers traveling the zones when he met us.

A few tears left my steel-colored eyes as the sound of a guitar blasted from the speaker.

"_Time kills, go ask Jesus_

_I'm done, makes no difference_

_Stare straight, stare at the sun_

_I'm done, makes no difference."_

A smile lit my face as I heard the all too familiar voice of my old friend Tyler. Laughing, I turned the music up louder, drumming my hands against the steering wheel to the beat that I had memorized much too long ago.

"_Time takes us all _

_(So why am I not just living for today?)_

_Time takes us, time takes us all_

_Will I die right now, I'm only seconds away_

_Time takes us!"_

I couldn't help but lose myself to the music that my old band and I had put together. If only that damn nuclear war had never been started back in 2012, the maybe we could have gotten somewhere with our music! More tears streamed down my face as I reached into my front pocket. Pulling out a small, torn photo, I took only a quick glance at it. It was of me, Tyler, our friend and lead guitarist Kevin, our bassist Christian, and my- A sob shook my body as I saw the last person in the picture with his arm around my shoulders.

"Why did he have to die? Why not me? Huh? Oh, god! It's my entire fault!"

A flashback overtook me as I pulled over to the side of the road and cried harder than I have in years.

"_Riley! Look out!" I turned just in time to get out of the path of a bullet, or laser thing whatever you want to call it, shot past. _

_I breathed a sigh of relief as I felt warm arms pull me into a hard chest. I smiled and buried my head into the man's neck. _

"_Jesus, what were you thinking? You could've been killed! Are you nuts?" I giggled a little before pulling back to look at the man before me. His blonde hair was swept sideways from always brushing it away from his face and his bright blue eyes were brighter than any star I've ever seen. _

_Smiling, I caressed his tan cheek with my hand. "Relax, David. I'm fine." I looked up into his eyes before placing a small kiss on his pink lips. _

_He sighed before leaning into my hand and closing his eyes. "Don't ever do that to me again. I thought I was going to lose you." _

_I quickly pecked his other cheek before wrapping both my arms around his torso. "You don't ever have to worry about that. I'll always be here."_

"_Hey, lovebirds! Do you mind hurrying up? We don't need another exterminator on our tails!" a loud voice called from the small car we had managed to find a few days back. _

_I groaned and pulled away from my lover's arms reluctantly. _

"_Shut up, Tyler! We're coming!" I shouted, interlacing my fingers with David's before walking over to the car. _

_I looked at the driver's side to see Tyler's head sticking out the window. His brown eyes watched us with mischief as his eyebrow ring glinted in the sunlight. "Nice of you to show up!" Another voice joined his._

"_Yeah! What's with the hold up?" _

_I glared at the red-head pushing Tyler out of the way. _

"_Go back to making out with Kevin, Christian!" Christian rolled his eyes before sticking his head back into the car. _

"_I'm not gay!" A deeper voice called from the back. _

_I laughed lightly before looking back at David's face. He was staring intently at something behind my shoulder. I turned before backing up slowly. _

"_No." I mumbled, my eyes widening. Around half a mile up the road there were three BL/ind company cars driving straight for us. Before I could pull out my ray gun, I was pushed towards the car._

"_Save yourself, I'll hold them back!" he yelled, pulling a small bomb from its holster._

"_But-"I started._

"_NOW!" _

_I nodded frantically before jumping into the already moving car. I stared out the back windshield as we got farther away. I only caught a quick glance at him before the whole area behind us exploded. _

_I burst into tears as Christian and Kevin held me._

"_NO!"_

I shivered violently.

"And that song was called The Ripper. This next song is called Paralyzed." Before any music could reach my ears I turned the radio dial quickly, leaving only silence to comfort me. I took a deep breath before wiping my face of any traces of tears.

After making sure there were no more traces of tears, I started the car back up. After David died, I promised myself I would never love again.

Around ten minutes later, I pulled up to a small rundown diner that was basically in the middle of nowhere. I checked my face in the rearview mirror. All traces of my breakdown have disappeared, leaving only a dead look in my cold eyes.

Stepping out of the small vehicle, I walked into the front doors. Everything was quiet. Too quiet. I looked around confused before I was roughly tackled to the floor.

"Irony! You're here!" a high-pitched male voice shouted in my ear, his arms crushing me to him.

"Show Pony! I can't breathe!" I yelped, my face starting to turn the color of my hair. He immediately let go.

"Oh, sorry! So sorry! But I just can't believe it! I haven't seen you since David-"he stopped, looking down at me fearfully, "I mean, since a year ago!" he continued, nervousness laced in his voice.

I gave him a weak smile before pushing myself off the ground. "It's okay Show Pony. I'm over it." I gave a weak laugh.

He looked at me for a moment before shaking his head sadly but he didn't comment. I thanked him mentally for that. I brushed my bloodied shirt off before looking back at him. "So where's Dr. D? Did he ditch after he heard I was coming' here?"

He laughed loudly before pointing towards a door in the back. "He's in there. I was just about to head over to Zone three to take a look at the traffic and get some more tunes so I won't be back for awhile. Are you going to be okay without me?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I shoved my hands into my pants pockets. "I've been out hunting Dracs for the past year on my own. I think I can handle bein' in the same room as _Dr. Ditz._"

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I guess I'll see you when I get back." Turning away, he started to head towards the door before looking back at me. "Oh, and Irony?"

I blinked. "Yeah?"

He sighed before shaking his head. "You know I'm always here if you ever want to… I don't know, talk. So don't be a stranger, all right?"

Nodding, I shot him a weak smile, which was more of a grimace than anything. "Yeah, man. Just go get those tunes."

He flashed me a small smirk before turning and skating through the double doors.

I watched him until he was too far for my eyes to see. I heaved a large sigh before heading towards the back door. Knocking lightly, I called out, "Yo! Dr. Death! Can I come in?"

Hearing almost silent whispers erupt from behind the door, I took a small step back.

"Irony! That you?" I heard him call back from behind the wood. "Come in, come in!" Smiling largely, I pushed the dilapidated door open before stepping inside.

The backroom was small. Dust covered most of the room except for radio equipment set up against the back wall. And there, in all his glory, was the very man I came to see; sitting in an electric wheelchair and playing with what I could only assume was a soundboard.

He looked over his shoulder at me, seemingly taking in my appearance before laughing. "You look like you just had a run in with them motor-babies!"

I let out a small giggle before rolling my ice-blue eyes. "Nah, just a few Dracs here and there. Nothing too dangerous." I replied, looking around for the record of my band's music. Maybe I can snatch it when he's not looking. A ha! There it is! Reaching towards it, the older man's voice caught my attention.

"Good, good. Oh, yes I was wondering if you could do me a small favor. You see there are these four guys who-"He started while rifling through a stack of papers on his desk.

Raising my eyebrow at his turned back, I stopped my hand in mid-grab. "Really? You've been housing a group of killjoys? Do I know them?" I questioned, dropping my hand back to my side, completely forgetting about the record laying in front of me.

He sighed dramatically before turning back to me. "As I was saying before I was interrupted," queue me scratching the back of my head in embarrassment, "These four guys are good friends of mine. But recently they went to get back a little girl that was taken from them by Korse and his group of SCARECROW men. And unfortunately-"

"Wait! Why do they bring a little girl around with them? Isn't that dangerous?"

"They rescued her from a BL/ind prison a few months back, but anyways! That's not the point. They managed to rescue the child, Grace, but in turn were shot down." As he said this, he ducked his head sadly.

Frowning, I looked at him questioningly. "And you want me to do what exactly?"

"Well, recently Grace brought up the idea that they had been shot with stunners instead of being killed. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it myself."

"So, basically what you are trying to tell me is that you want me to break into Better Living Industries and risk my _life_, just to see if these guys _that I don't know_, are really dead? Not to mention save them _without_ being caught if they _just so happen_ to still be living? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" I demanded more than asked, flailing my arms in every which direction.

Looking towards me cautiously, Dr. Death Defying nodded slowly. "What do you think?"

Keeping up my angry façade, I looked into his dark eyes.

Out of nowhere, a mischievous grin lit up my face; my normally dead eyes lighting up menacingly in the dim light.

"I'm in."

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update! My computer is being a real ass! No, seriously! My bro hacked into my computer, and SOMEHOW made it so my screensaver is a picture of a monkey mooning me. Delightful, I know. I had to get it fixed because it wouldn't start up afterwards. Lemme tell yah, the screensaver caused for interesting conversation with the computer guy. Also, the FABULOUS KILLJOYS WILL MAKE THEIR FIRST APPEARANCE SOON! VERY SOON INFACT! THE NEXT CHAPTER!


	3. Chapter 3

Last time:

_"So, basically what you are trying to tell me is that you want me to break into Better Living Industries and risk my __life__, just to see if these guys __that I don't know__, are really dead? Not to mention save them __without__ being caught if they __just so happen__ to still be living? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" I demanded more than asked, flailing my arms in every which direction._

_Looking towards me cautiously, Dr. Death Defying nodded slowly. "What do you think?"_

_Keeping up my angry façade, I looked into his dark eyes._

_Out of nowhere, a mischievous grin lit up my face; my normally dead eyes lighting up menacingly in the dim light._

_"I'm in."_

Present:

_Battery City; 7:53 a.m.; 76° Fahrenheit_

Walking out of her two-story, bland home, Amelia Johnson adjusted her tight gray dress shirt. There was no such thing as color in or anywhere near Battery City. Nor were there things such as laughter, amusement, anger, sadness, or depression. No emotions were expressed whatsoever. This woman was the epitome of boring. Her dull brown hair sat perfectly straight and limp on her head. Two dirt brown eyes sat in the contours of her white face. No color was to be found on her person.

Craning her neck, she glanced at her watch. "_Time for my pills._" she thought, reaching into her pocket eagerly.

Taking out two white colored pills, she popped them into her waiting mouth before continuing her walk down her driveway. Sitting at the end of it was a car the every citizen owned. A tiny, cramped, black compact car with no air conditioning; not that anyone would need it seeing as the weather-bots took care of that sort of thing. It was thought that if everyone had the same cars and similar looking houses, terrorists would have no interest in attacking. Pushing these thoughts to the back of her drug-induced mind, she quickly opened her car door. She knew that her boss would be terribly displeased if she was late for her first day of work.

Little did she know that she was not going to be showing up to work today, because only seconds later she found herself passed out on the ground.

_BL/ind Corporate Tower; 8:30 a.m._

Stepping out of the small, boring car, I adjusted my 'borrowed' shirt. It was a little too small for my liking, but it would have to do. I looked into the back seat. Laying there motionless was none other than Battery City citizen and loyal worker Amelia Johnson. I smiled before moving towards the front door to a large building made of glass and white walls. 

I stopped myself from shaking my head in disgust at the lack of creativity and walked in, moving towards the front desk.

A man in his late thirties sat behind a large, wait for it, white desk. Bet you didn't see that one coming.

Looking at the name plate on the desk, I stopped in front of him. _"Of course that's his last name."_

"Excuse me, Mr. White?" I asked, making sure my voice and face was devoid of any emotion.

Looking up from what he was typing, he looked me over as if searching for any sort of imagination or color. I suppose he found none if the pleased look in his eyes were anything to go by.

"Yes? How may I help you?" he questioned; his voice much like mine had been. Cold, quiet, and boring.

"My name is Amelia Johnson, and it's my first day, and well, I'm not quite sure where I am supposed to go."

He nodded before typing in something in his computer. It was quiet for a moment as he looked at my face suspiciously. "You are Mr. Korse's new assistant, how could you forget something as high up in position as that?"

I froze for a second before staring into his eyes icily. "I didn't, sir. I was merely wondering what floor I have to go to."

He continued watching me before answering, "Floor thirteen."

Nodding quickly, I turned and headed towards the elevator. Getting in I hit the button marked _13. _The ride was not very long as I soon found myself in a heavily lighted (and guarded) hallway. As I walked, posters lining the walls caught my eye. I stopped and studied them closely. The first was of a man with an oval shaped face and a sharp nose. I couldn't see much more as all the posters were in black and white with red X's crossing over their faces. A black bar was across their eyes reading the words _exterminate._ I shook my head slowly before looking down at the name that graced the bottom. '**Party Poison**'.

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. These were all wanted posters of the most dangerous and threatening killjoys. The next poster had a man who had a similar, but different face shape. The nose and lips were the same as the man in the first photo, but this man's face had a more slim and sharp look to his features. '**Kobra Kid'**.

Moving my eyes to the next, I looked at it closely in interest. This one had long, curly hair, with a round face and full lips. '**Jet-Star'**.

The next also had a round face, but the supported more childish looking facial features, a small grin lighting up his mostly covered face. Long, black hair or what I thought was black, almost brushed against his shoulders.** 'Fun Ghoul'**.

The last one caught me immense surprise. It looked extremely familiar. Their bottom lip was slightly bigger than the top, giving them a pouty look. A small, button nose graced the middle of their heart-shaped face. Long hair with what I could see of a fringe graced their pretty face. Or what I could see was pretty. Looking down for the name, I froze. '**Bitterly Ironic'**.

I blinked before grinning largely. I never knew Korse thought me as that large of a threat to put me on his wall of Most Dangerous Terrorists.

"Shame, isn't it?" Wiping the smile from my face, I turned quickly. A grimace threatened to show as I saw who was standing behind me.

I cleared my throat before asking, "What is, sir?"

He glanced at me before nodding his bald head towards the posters that only seconds before I was admiring. "What those outcasts are doing. Or, _were_ doing. After so many years of chasing them down, we've finally captured them," surprisingly, a smile had bloomed on his cruel face. He swiftly snapped his head to face mine, "Now all we have to worry about is little miss Bitterly Ironic. Once she is out of the way, Battery City will once again become a Utopia for the normal. And that is why I'm glad you are here, Amelia." He finished, looking at me, his sick smile growing.

I watched him suspiciously for a moment, "And why is that?"

He turned the opposite way and started walking the way in which he had came from. "Follow." Hesitating for a moment, I quickly followed after him, walking slightly behind him as soon as I caught up.

Left. Left. Straight. Right. Straight. Left.

No matter how hard I tried I could not for the life of me remember all of the twists and turns we took. Finally, after what could have easily been twenty minutes, we reached a door with two S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W guards standing guard outside. As soon as they caught sight of Korse, they relaxed their stances and moved aside. The guard to the right of the door pulled out a laminated white card and slid it through a small machine in the wall.

Not two seconds later, the door slid open, allowing us entrance. I followed Korse in, holding myself back from looking around him. The room was white in its entirety with beds lining the walls and heart monitors lying next to each one.

I looked around, letting my curiosity show. Not noticing that Korse had stopped in front of me, I almost ran into him, but luckily I noticed just in time and managed to stop myself abruptly. I glance towards Korse's face to see if he had noticed my misstep, but he seemed to be focused solely and the beds in front of us.

Turning my head slowly, I braced myself for whatever I was about to see.

I breathed in sharply, my eyes never straying from what was in front of use.

Letting my breath out slowly, I shook my head in disbelief.

Laying right there, hooked up to heart monitors and IVs that no doubt were feeding them some sort of sleeping liquid, like Valium or Trazodone. They all looked so fragile and pale. None of them made any movements, except for the slight lifting of their chests which showed they were breathing.

"So, what do you think?" A cold voice snapped me out of my reverie. I put up my emotionless mask before looking Korse in the eye.

"It's, just so incredible. I've never thought that I would ever be this close to outlaws before, it's just, wow. You truly are amazing, sir. A role model! To have beaten all of them within an inch of their life! Unbelievable!" I gasped out, fake admiration adorning my face.

The smirk on his ugly face grew. "Good to know, Amelia. Good to know." He patted me on the head before turning back to the door. "I have some things to go check on. Now, I've read your file and I know that you have a major in medicine. Would you mind administering another dose of Valium?" He asked.

Surprised, I looked up at him. "Of course, sir! Anything for you!" I replied, happily. _"Good. Lay it on thick, Irony."_

He nodded his head at me before leaving, the door closing on his way out. I waited until I could not hear his footsteps any longer and the guards resumed their position.

I took a deep breath, making sure to keep quiet. Making my way over to the first bed, I looked over the IV. There had to be a way to wake them up.

Smiling, I twisted a part of the tube, stopping anything from entering the person of the man next to me. Curiously, I glanced down at him. Disheveled blonde hair, a sharp, angular face, and an adorable nose. I smiled lightly, "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" I muttered to myself before walking to the other beds.

I quickly cut off the IV before taking each of them carefully out of their skin. Looking around, I spotted a small roll of white bandages. Grabbing them, I wrapped a thin piece around their hands, stopping the small amount of blood flow coming from the cut.

I brushed the blonde's hair away from his face before placing a small peck on his forehead. "Better wake up soon, we need to get out of here." I whispered in his ear.

Pulling my hand away from his face, I turned to go to the other's sides. Before I could even move one step though, a hand shot up and grabbed my wrist.

I squeaked quietly. Hopefully neither of the guards heard.

"Who are you?" A slurred, musical voice reached my ears. I blinked a few times, before realizing the blonde man was actually awake. Hesitating, I looked up into his eyes. They were a pretty brown and green mix.

"I think a better question would be who are _you_?" I shot back, ripping my wrist from his hold.

His face scrunched up in frustration. Opening his mouth to no doubt shout at me, I slapped my hand on top of his mouth. I immediately regretted it though when I saw him wince slightly.

"Sorry, but you need to stay quiet. I'll fill you in on what happened. Okay?"

Looking up at me quizzically, he nodded his head. I nodded, pleased. Taking my hand away, I started.

"Let's see, you and your friends came here to save that little girl. Grace, right?" I stopped to look at him. He again, nodded. "Well, there was a gun fight and all four of you were shot. You were, supposedly dead." He shot up from the bed only to fall back in pain. "Stop that! Anyways, you are all alive, obviously. Grace got away, and everyone thought you four were killed. But recently, Dr. Ditz, or Dr. Death Defying to you guys, told me how Grace and he suspected you were all shot with stunners. So, they sent me out here as a favor to them, and ta da! Here I am! Snuck in by impersonating some woman, or whatever." I put my finger to my chin, looking up to the ceiling. "Yeah, that's about it."

He was silent for a moment, before trying to sit up. I watched him worriedly, though I didn't show it on my face. I placed my hand on his back and helped him up.

"I'm Kobra kid. And… where are they?" he asked, his face as pale as the sheets he sat on.

I used my other hand to point at the other beds.

He turned and studied them. "So," he stopped before looking at me, "we have to get out of here." I nodded in agreement. Three low groans sounded throughout the room. I froze, glancing at the door swiftly.

"I'll be right back. Make sure they keep quiet."

I got up and walked over to the door.

"Wait! What are you doing?" Looking him in the eyes, I answered quietly, "You'll see."

I knocked on the door, signaling to the guards that I was ready to leave. Shuffling was heard on the other side of the door. As soon as the door slid open, my fist met with one of their faces. Smiling, I head a satisfying crack. Before the other had a second to react, I swiftly spun, raising my leg and roundhouse kicking him into a wall.

I placed my hands on my waist as I surveyed the two men on the floor. "Double knockout, sweet." I grinned, holding out the 'e' in sweet. I turned back only to have a hand grab my neck and throw me to the ground. I coughed violently, trying to get air.

"Party! Stop! She's helping us!" Almost immediately the hand disappeared and I was left spluttering on the ground, letting the sweet air back into my lungs.

Two arms helped me up. "Oh, Jesus! I'm so sorry; I thought you were working under Korse." I opened my eyes to red hair and an apologetic smile. Rubbing my neck, I stood back up and wave him off.

I glanced at who was holding my other arm. Black long hair, cute face. "It's fine. You must be Party Poison," I said nodding me head at him before turning to the other man still holding me upright. "And you are… Fun Ghoul, correct?" His eyes lit up happily, before he nodded his head enthusiastically.

"Yup!"

"And I'm Jet-Star." A tall man, around 6'1" or 6'2" stood in front of me. I had to look up to see him clearly.

I fake-smiled, "Nice to meet you. I'm Bitterly Ironic." It suddenly got extremely quiet.

Kobra Kid looked over from where he was speaking to Party Poison. "As in, THE Bitterly Ironic? Also known as Irony or Dust Bunny?"

I stared at him in shock, my eyes the size of dinner plates. "How did you know about, never mind. But, yes to answer your question, I'm the actual Bitterly Ironic. Now, we need to get out of here, and fast." The four of them nodded swiftly. "Okay, so listen up. There are two ways to get out of here. We are going to have to split up. It would be very easy to spot four men in colorful clothing with a woman wearing all gray." Again, they all nodded, listening intently. "The first way is the more dangerous way. You have to go past Korse's office to get to the elevator, which is the way I came. It is also heavily guarded, and I REALLY would not usually suggest going that way. But since none of you have weapons, we are pretty much screwed. The other way is through there." I pointed towards the staircase. "No one uses it since they have elevators, so that's your safest bet. The two who are the most injured, notice how I didn't say weak, just injured, are going through there." I finished, glancing at each and every one of their faces. They all looked to each other, trying to decide who should go out the safe way.

"And just so you know, I've already chosen who's going down the staircase." All their heads snapped towards me.

"What?"

"What do you mean you chose?"

"That's not fair!"

"How would you know?"

I raised my hand to silence them. "You heard me. And by 'I chose' I mean, 'I chose'. Yes it is fair, and I know because while I was waiting for you all to wake up, I checked out where each of you were shot. Any questions?" They all stared at me. Silence. "No? Well, alright then. Kobra, Jet, you two are coming with me. Party and Ghoul, to the staircase you go!" Before any of them could complain, I interrupted. "It's not that big of a deal, now let's go!"

A few groans and mumbles later found Kobra, Jet-Star, and I walking quickly but quietly against the wall of the hallway. I put my hand out, stopping them as we came closer to Korse's office. Two voices came from inside.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE GONE? WHO GOT THEM OUT?" A whimper was heard along with the sound of something breaking.

"I-I'm sorry, sir! It was that girl! A-Amelia! Amelia Johnson!" the usual monotone voice of a Drac came from inside.

"I thought I told you that she WASN'T AMELIA! WHAT DID I TELL YOU? THAT WAS BITTERLY IRONIC! You were supposed to apprehend her once I left the room!"

I quickly dropped my arm and motioned them to go ahead. They nodded, quickly scampering down to the other end of the hall. They could still hear everything that was happening inside the room, though.

"They can't have gotten too far! Go, go now!"

"Y-Yes, sir!" The sound of a door slamming inside of the office gave me the idea that there was another room inside of there. My eyes narrowed dangerously. Probably something important if it's in his office.

Before I could think further into it, the office door opened, showing the Drac. Before he could even make a noise, he dropped to the ground dead, smoke coming from his mask. I waited a moment, looking around. Nothing. I slid past the office door and made my way to where Jet and Kobra were waiting.

After a few minutes of dodging around guards and S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W members, we finally managed to get into the lobby of the building. I motioned for them to wait against the wall. I handed my ray gun to Kobra so _Mr. White _wouldn't see it.

Gracefully, making my way to the front desk, I looked down at the man. If you squinted he, was quite good looking. "Oh, Mr. White?"

He stopped, looking up at me. His gaze landed on my chest for a moment longer than necessary. "Yes, Ms. Johnson?"

I leaned over, a seductive smile crossing my face. "I was just wondering if you would, uh, close your eyes for a moment."

He looked confused but also slightly dazed/ He leaned towards me, our faces almost touching. "And why would I do that?"

I smiled largely, "So that I could do this." I passionately kissed him, pressing into him as much as I could with a desk in between us. I opened my eyes slightly, lightly touching my tongue to his lips. I held back a chuckle as I watched his eyes close. He began to kiss back, so when I was sure his eyes were shut completely, I lifted my arm and pointed for the two gaping at us to make a run for it.

I almost sighed in frustration as the continued to stare. I detached myself from the man, laying kisses on his neck. I pointed angrily at the two men and the moved my finger towards the door.

Realization dawned on their face and they both ran for the front. I heard the door open and close before I pulled away. I kept my hand on his face for as long as I could manage as I walked away, my back facing the door.

Once I made it outside, I was tackled by something short. I looked down and say Fun Ghoul hugging me around my waist. I was surprised at how much taller I was then him.

"Thank you! Thank you, thank you, and thank you!" I nodded slowly, trying to pull him off of me, but he wouldn't budge. Coughing awkwardly, I looked towards the others for help only to find them chuckling. Except for Kobra Kid, he looked more pissed off. Well, Grace did mention him having a terrible temper.

I don't know how, but I managed to get to my car, which honestly wasn't mine as you know, and opened up the driver's side. "Ok, Ghoul, you need to get off now so I can get in the car."

He pouted but let go. As soon as I sat down, he ran over to the passenger side and jumped in… once again attaching himself to my arm. I sighed in aggravation but didn't say anything. I turned to look in the back but Amelia was gone. "Huh. She's gone." Both the back doors opened and Party, Kobra and Jet jumped in.

"We ready?" The others grunted or in everyone other then Kobra, whooped excitedly. "Well, then. To Dr. Ditz we go!"


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: AHHHHHH! I am so sorry that I haven't been updating! I know you are all probably like "Get your ass in motion" or "What the hell, man?" or "Fuck! Where'd my pencil go?" …you know, the works. But I have a completely valid explanation! I got addicted to the video game **_**Dragon Age 2**_** (which I DID NOT create nor am I saying that I did. Sigh. Disclaimers.) and well, actually this is kind of embarrassing. I made a bet that if I could beat the game thirteen (random number, right?) times before the end of the month, my bro would give me a dollar…Well… I GOT A DOLLAR, BITCHES! NYAHA! **

**Anyways, I already had this chapter written out, I just didn't have the time to type it on Word. Mostly because my grades slipped from playing the game almost every second that I was home so…I got grounded. :D Awesome, right? Anyways, I will not deprive you of another chapter for any longer! (Even though, I'm not exactly proud of this one…Too boring. Bleh.)**

**Also, I NEED IDEAS! And SPECIFIC IDEAS! Any killjoys wanna help a little lady out? Yes? AWESOME! Leave a review or message me with ideas! Though, it might be safer to message, so someone else doesn't steal them… If I don't get any, then it's only going to make it longer before the next chapter…**

…

**ENJOY! :D**

I slid my pale hand down my face in exhaustion. I struggled to keep my eyes open as I drove down Route Guano. It has been a few hours since I _helped _the Fabulous Killjoys out of BL/ind's main base. Yes, _helped, _not _saved,_ because Kobra Kid just had to tell me every five seconds for over TWO hours that they could have gotten out all on their own. Yes, over my great, flaming ass they could've.

Sighing, I tried not to think about the irritating blonde in the seat behind me, instead my thoughts drifted to another topic entirely.

BL/ind.

When we were roaming the hallways toward the exit, we overheard him saying that he KNEW that I was…well, me! Does nobody else seem to realize how strange that is! Why didn't he just shoot me down when he saw me? Instead leaving me alone with the people I had been there to _help_?

My brain was starting to hurt from all this thinking. (Yes, I'm that pathetic.) Choosing to instead wait until I had some sleep to think this matter over, I smiled in relief as I saw the diner, still distant, come over the horizon.

Checking the side mirror of the dull-colored car to see if anyone was following us, I barely managed to keep from screaming as a large hand grabbed my shoulder. Steeling my features into an emotionless mask, I turned towards the passenger seat only to see Fun Ghoul looking at me with mischievous hazel eyes.

I blinked.

He blinked twice.

I scowled.

He frowned.

I punched him the face.

He hit his head on the car window and passed out.

Snickering in victory, I turned my gaze back to the road in front of us.

"KO, bitch."

Pulling up to the front of the diner, I jumped out, actually I more like stumbled out, onto the ground.

"Sand. Sweet, sweet sand," I exclaimed, burying my face in the ground, inhaling, "How I missed th-ACK!" Coughing, I lifted my head trying to get the evil sand out of the clutches of my, now very scratchy, throat. "Stupid sand! You're evil! EVIL! Why did I even miss you, you…you…SAND!"

"Wow, and I thought Ghoul was stupid." I turned my head to glare at, who else? Kobra Kid!

Storming passed me, I continued to glare at his back, even after he made it inside the rundown diner.

Thankfully, Party and Ghoul leaned down and each grabbed one of my arms before hauling me up onto my feet. My scowl didn't fall from my face, however.

"Don't mind him. He means well." Jet muttered, patting me on the back sympathetically. "I'll go talk to him." He finished, brushing some of the sand off my clothing before following Kobra inside.

"Sorry 'bout that. He isn't always like that." Part said, leading me towards the door.

Fun Ghoul snorted, "What are you talkin' about PP? He's ALWAYS like that!" Hooking his arm with mine, we walked inside, exhaustion beating down on all of us.

"Listen, it's fine. If he doesn't like me, he doesn't like me. I'm not going to go out of my way just for someone's approval." I muttered, though on the inside, I couldn't help but be slightly hurt. Shaking it off, I turned towards the two and smiled innocently.

"So, can I give you guys nicknames?"

**AN: So, I know it isn't as long as some of my others…but atleast I updated! I'm writing the next chapter RIGHT NOW! As in, 7:30 on the dot eastern time in NEW JERSEYYYY! **

**Also, some of your reviews are just funny as hell! Below are some that made me either laugh or chuckle in amusement (like this, tahahahha….haha….man, that's funny.)**

**Also, these are in order :P**

**The Singing Sharpie ****- 12/25/10**

**EvilDrummerKilljoyTBO ****- 1/07/11**

**EvilDrummerKilljoyTBO ****- 1/23/11**

**IchibanSinger321 ****- 1/25/11**

**Viv**** - 2/27/11 - Anonymous**

**tina**** - 3/14/11 - Anonymous**

**MysteryDreamingPoison**** - 4/25/11**

**Lol, the last one I read as I was about to finish this story! (Dude, it's been like three months!) That made me laugh for some reason XD**


	5. QUESTIONANSWERS!

Okay, so… *dodges tomatoes and other random items that were conveniently placed near you* I am so sorry about the lack of updates! I really have no excuse except for the fact that I'm grounded and only have a few minutes at home alone before my parents get here so that leaves me with no time to write a chapter. Plus, If I had to be completely honest, I've gotten addicted to actually READING the stories other people post instead of WRITING.

*sheepish grin* I apologize for that. Plus, I've been really busy which I know is no excuse, blah blah blah. Point is, the **next chapter will be up by Sunday, May 15****th**. Or maybe before that, who knows.

Whatever, I know you do not want to hear about my oh-so-TERRIBLE life, so I'll get straight to the point. I need some ideas for this story. Sure, I'm not completely out of them (not yet anyways) but unfortunately that day is coming closer and closer. (Does anyone know how to get my story put into the killjoy community? :D I would really appreciate ittttt!)

ALSO! Because I have been away for so long and I know you guys are pissed and such…I have decided to have a little….what is it? Ah, yes. **Questions and Answers chapter**. Leave some kind of question in a message or review and I will answer them in a **QA: Chapter Special**! Now some of you are probably like, "Oh, uh…that's f#$%$% stupid." And have left this chapter already but here is the best part of this. **You can ask ANYTHING,** as long as it is somehow relevant to the story. Like if you don't understand something. **Or if you want to know who Bitterly is going to end up with**! Just ask! If you want more on her background, her friends, the killjoys, why she has a **love-hate relationship with sand**! **And I will have to answer**!

…Unless I don't want to, of course… :D Have fun, my little killers of joy!


	6. Chapter 5 EDITED

…**Heyyyyyy, guys. Hahaha…ha…haaa…*cough* I know, I know, it's been awhile. *sigh* But honestly, you should know me by now. I'm LAZY :D so yeah. Ugh I'm tired and I really don't wanna write a stupid author's note, but blah blah blah, I have to.**

**So, the current going-ons is that I need ideas for this story, and for you guys to leave some questions about this story in reviews and/or messages. Thanks to those of you who already have…but um… yeah, I got the same question in like three reviews. IS SHE GOING TO GET WITH KOBRA, ARE KOBRA AND BITTERLY GONNA GET TOGETHER? Etc. etc. Really, guys? Nobody has any other questions than that? Blahhhhhhhhh. Also, I know this was supposed to be up in May, but I wrote about half of this chapter, and then got TERRIBLE writers block. **

**I do not own…whatever in this story that I do not own…yeah. But I do own anything that, well, I do own…Get it? Good, because I didn't.**

"Fag-tard?"

"No."

"Big-Daddy?"

"Definitely not."

"Retard-O?"

"Ok, that's just offensive."

"Mickey McJackass?"

"That's terrible."

"Wrinkle-Puss?"

"NO!"

"…Meat-stick?"

"What th- HELL NO!"

"You're no fun!"

"You're the one giving me stupid nicknames!"

"THEY AREN'T STUPID! YOU ARE!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Ye-"

"WOULD YOU GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP?"

…

I glanced quickly at Kobra's red face before turning back to my "conversation" with Fun Ghoul.

"Well, that wasn't very nice."

Ghoul looked at Blondie, shaking his head in fake disappointment. "No," he said, shaking his head. "No, it was not."

"Yeah, Kobra. That hurt," I tapped my chest with my pointer finger, "right here."

Sliding his hand down his face in frustration, Kobra huffed angrily. "Grow up, would you?"

Getting up from the booth, he walked out the double doors.

Turning towards Ghoul I asked, "Is he always like that?"

He sighed, "Yeah. I don't really know why."

I could tell the subject was bothering him so I quickly stood up from the booth.

"Do you want to go on a Draculoid killing spree?" I questioned, my hand resting on my ray gun.

Ghoul looked up with a mischievous smile lighting up his face.

**LINEBREAK**

Not twenty minutes later, Ghoul and I raced down the dirt road towards Zone 5.

"So, what's the plan?" he asked, shifting slightly in his seat.

I snickered and glanced at him from the corner of my eye. "WE, my friend, are going on a RAID."

"WHAT? A RAID? DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS? I mean, normally I wouldn't care, but going on a raid with only two killjoys? You're crazy. I knew it. There had to be something wrong with you. You were just too perf-"

I slapped my right hand over his mouth, my left remaining on the steering wheel. "I don't see what's the big deal. I've been doing raids on my own for the last year."

Slowly pulling my hand away from his mouth, he gaped, "Alone?"

I raised an eyebrow, my eyes not leaving the road ahead of us. "Well, yeah. How else was I supposed to get supplies?"

"…Good point. I guess I never thought about that."

I grinned widely, "You think? I never would've thought-"

"Shut up."

**LINEBREAK**

"Tell me again, why we are walking?"

"Because if we don't, we'll get caught. Simple as that."

"Oh… well that explains why Dracs always find us during a raid."

"What do you mean?"

"Party drives like a crazy person on crack."

"…Good to know…"

"Yeah… Oh hey! We're here!.. Oh…Oh no…Do you think that Drac heard us? Shit, he's heading this way! Damn it, Irony! I told you we had to be quiet!"

"…Why am I FRIENDS with you?"

Right as I said that, I felt the pressure of a ray gun being pressed up against the back of my throat. Freezing, I turned my head slowly, not wanting whoever it was to shoot.

"My my, what do we have here? A little far from the outer zones, aren't you?" The sound of his voice made me shudder, my face paling. Looking back at _his_ pale face, I gasped silently, my eyes the size of dinner plates.

"Nice seeing you again, Bitterly Ironic."

I stuttered, fear overtaking my body. "K-Korse."

**LINEBREAK**

Staring out at the endless amount of sand dunes was the one and only Kobra Kid. He sighed, looking for any sign of the two missing killjoys.

"What the hell is taking them so long?" he muttered, crossing his arms angrily. Shaking his head, he continued to stare out the dirty glass window.

"_Why do I even care? They haven't even been gone that long. They can take care of themselves." _he mused, shifting restlessly in his seat. Even at the thought, he couldn't help but wait for the two to return.

"Hey, Kobra?"

Blinking, Kobra squinted his brown eyes to see in the dark of the place. "Party?"

Running a hand through his long, messy red hair, Party took out a cigarette and sat down in the booth across from Kobra. "Hey, uh, have you seen Ghoul or Irony around?"

Sighing in exhaustion, Kobra slumped in his seat.

"No. They left a few hours ago."

Gerard looked at him strangely, "Well, did they tell you where they were going?"

Kobra shook his head wearily. "No. Bitterly mentioned something about a 'field trip' or something. Wherever she went she took Ghoul with her," As the last words left his mouth, Kobra's hands balled into tight fists, anger showing on his face.

Party looked at him in confusion, before a sly smirk crept onto his handsome face, "You like her."

Shooting upright in his seat, Kobra glared at the red-head.

"I do not! She-she…I'm just worried about Fun Ghoul, okay?"

"Uh huh, so how long have you had this little crush on our dear Irony? Ah buh buh." he said, raising his hand to interrupt Kobra as he opened his mouth to retaliate, "No lying."

Raising his hands in obvious defeat, Kobra rand a hand down his face.

"Since she saved us."

**LINEBREAK**

**OHHHH! Fun Ghoul and Irony, KIDNAPPED! Or… KillJoy-napped? Um… Yeah! And did Kobra just… DID HE? :O Thentension is heating up fellas! Join us next time on- "SHUT UPPPP!" …. Um… **

**EDIT! **

Ok so, random burst of ideas! LOL! I wanted to make this chapter a little longer and more interesting because I didn't like how I ended it last time. Too short, unexciting, …etc, etc. I think you get my point.

**I still have that Question&Answers thing up about this story! Ask some questions, suckahs!**

ALSO! **I wanted to wish a happy belated birthday to **_**tina**_! **HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!** (Just so you know, her birthday was this past June 21, and I've wanted to put a little something in here for her! :D So happy birthday!

Another thing I wanted to add was something I forgot last time! All the **funny reviews that made me laugh**! Nyahahahahaha! But this time, I'm responding!

**(As of 4/25/11) **

**MysteryDreamingPoison****- **Lol, I have to admit, I'd be a bit freaked if someone burst into my house screaming about updates! But knowing me, I'd probably just break down laughing! HAHA! I'm glad to know you actually like this story enough to want to fly to NEW JERSEY! I mean….NEW JERSEY? …New Jersey, New Jersey? HAHAHAHAHA! Anyways, thank you for reviewing! :D

**XXSOULxSUCKINGxGHOSTXx**- Aha! No, I didn't die! XD LOL! And it's alright, nobody had any ideas for me, :/ Meh. Whatever. And, I KNOW, RIGHT? I know it sounds a little conceited, but I love that line too! :P lmfao, thank you Oh-Holy-Reviewer! You make-eth me happy-eth with thy review!

**Tina**- TINAAAAAAAAAA! Sorry, lol. Happy belated birthday! (YES, I AM SAYING IT AGAIN! MUWAHAHAA!) Yeahhh, I agree! Kobra is one hot-diggity dog! Lol, or in your words, a **GIANT MALE FIRE CROTCH**! XD MEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA! That made me laugh so hard, lemme tell you. Thank yah for reviewing, fellow Kobra lovahhh!

**PurpleTango**- YOU HAVE A HYPER ALTER EGO TOO? DAMN! I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME! YAY! I'M NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD! Nyahahahah! Thank you for your oh-so-amusing review! XD *epic thumbs up*

**adrenalinedangerheart**- I can't tell you how many times I'll be here or You tube (do not own) on my phone, and the next thing I know I miss my bus stop! AHA! That makes me happy that my story has been good enough so far that everything else around you is like, **BLAM**, gone! Or, you could just be like me, and can get easily distracted or amused. I missed my bus stop once because I was staring at a squirrel outside the window. Worst part, the squirrel was in FRONT of my HOUSE! And I didn't even freaking NOTICE! :O Thank you for reviewing!

Ok, so that's it! Haha, I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I really appreciate a good laugh! :D They really make my day!

**So, read and review fiends! MAKE MY DAY, FELLAS!**


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